What is a relationship check-in?
It may sound intuitive but the nature of a relationship check-in isn't so obvious. Simply put -- a relationship check-in is structured time when couples can assess the status of the relationship. With regular "check-ins", partners are less likely to experience extreme peaks and valleys in relationships in favor of more manageable waves and greater understanding within the relationship.
We often hear that communication, trust and intimacy are the golden triad for healthy relationships. In one hour a week or every other, relationship check-ins will support partners in going for the gold.
Why is a relationship check-in important in my relationship?
Studies have shown that doing regular check-ins in a relationship can contribute to greater relationship satisfaction, enhance intimacy and diffuse the charge around conflicts that exists (as compared to groups that did not participate in check-ins. Our process for checking-in does more than that. Drawing from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Neurolinguistic Programming techniques, the Happy Partners Project approach creates connection across 5 different categories.
How can I do a relationship check-in with my partner?
A relationship check in simple to get going! Refer to our blog post on specific ways to broach the conversation with your partner. Schedule an hour of uninterrupted time either weekly or every other week, read the “Rules of Engagement” before your first one and the “Check-In Commitments” to start each session (both included in your deck).
Do I need the card deck to do a check-in?
Yes. We’ve created a proprietary process for doing an effective check-in. The tools and tactics included throughout the deck help partners improve emotional intelligence. Our process is also very solution and action-oriented so partners have productive takeaways and activities. This is unique to Happy Partners Project.
Does your relationship have to be in trouble to benefit from the check-in deck?
No. The deck is intended to bring emotional intelligence to couples in all kinds of states -- from the blissed out couple to the couple in trouble. Take our quiz to find out what state your relationship is in. Our process helps train partners on good practices that keep the waves of relationship gentle as opposed to intense peaks and valleys.
What do I do once I receive my deck?
First, read the “Rules of Engagement”. You can also find them on our site here. Then, schedule your recurring time with your partner. For suggestions on how to broach the topic with your partner, read our article here.
How much time does a check-in take?
Typically, the first few take an hour and a half. Over time, and with regular practice, check-ins take an hour, every other, or every, week. This means you’re giving between 2 and 4 hours of uninterrupted time a month to your relationship health.
Is there any proper protocol my partner and I should follow to ensure a productive check-in?
Always start with the “Check-In Commitments” to kick off each check-in. And when confusion occurs, use open-ended questions (questions that can’t be answered with one word like Yes, or No) to understand. If a situation escalates, take a pause and return to the Check-In Commitments before beginning again in that session.
What are some topics that are covered in the deck? Why are they important?
The Happy Partners Project deck takes couples through five categories -- Gratitude, Re-friending, Sex&Intimacy, Future-Gazing, and Conflict Resolution. Each of the categories are designed to bring partners closer, diffuse negative energy, and remind partners what they love about each other, the relationship and what they are building towards.
I’m having trouble with my check-ins, is there coaching available?
Yes, we offer two options with Happy Partners Project founder Jocelyn Johnson -- a 15 minute session that helps partners ease into their check ins and sets them up for success and a 30 minute session that moderates the check-in session. A 30 minute session with Jocelyn is particularly helpful if partners are wanting a neutral third party to help keep a check-in on track. Partners can do this on a regular or as-needed.
I need assistance on how to use my deck, who can I talk to?
For frequently asked questions, check in with our Helper Bot and refer to our blog for additional resource. For support initiating a check-in with your partner or to discuss any challenges or concerns about a check-in with your partner, book a 15 min. session with Happy Partners Project founder Jocelyn Johnson.
What do I get when I purchase the Support Bundle?
The Support Bundle includes a deck and a 15 min session with Happy Partners Project founder Jocelyn Johnson to discuss how to initiate the first check-in with your partner and any other coaching about getting started.
What does a 30 min check-in coaching session include? Is it with both my partner and I?
The 30 min. Check-in coaching session with Happy Partners Project founder Jocelyn Johnson can be done with either one or both partners. Ideally, both partners are present as Jocelyn guides the couple as an objective third party moderator. Jocelyn will also provide valuable coaching throughout the session and takeaway homework for both partners. Partners can do this on a regular or as-needed.