Are You Giving Away Your Power in Relationships?

Are You Giving Away Your Power in Relationships?

Here’s the Telltale Sign You Give Others More Power than You Give Yourself

Feeling empowered is the most exhilarating state of mind.

To be empowered is to be:
💪 Confident
🥳 Joy-filled
🦸🏻‍♀️ In control
🧘🏽 At ease and at peace
⛰️ Energetically Grounded

Knowing this, why would you ever willingly give up your power in relationships? 🤪

Healthy relationships — whether romantic or not — are empowered and interdependent. Interdependent relationships are balanced and collaborative; they include space for both partners’ independent selves and the “we” they create together to co-exist in harmony; there is a balance of power, meaning there isn’t a “one up, one down” dynamic at play; and both partners are able to be fully expressed, seen and heard in the relationship. 

Here’s the catch, though: truly interdependent relationships are consciously created and require ongoing maintenance to ensure this balance doesn’t swing out of whack. 

Often in my coaching practice, I see this imbalance when one partner frequently gives up their power. Many would call this codependence, self-sacrifice, or abandoning oneself. 

So what is the biggest sign you may be giving up your power in relationship?

Let’s start with an example. 

Recently a friend venting about her relationship asked me: “Do you think we should take this trip?”

My response: “Darling, you know I won’t answer that. That’s for you to decide. I can have my opinions but what’s more important is that your question says a lot on its own — look at that, not to me, for your answer.”

Asking for Advice and Opinions on what you should do constantly. This is one way you could be giving up your power in your everyday interactions.

When you look outside yourself for decisions and answers, what shows is that you trust your own judgement less than you trust the judgement of others; you put more weight in another person’s direction than in your own intuition and instincts. 

Your partner, friends, family, colleagues, even your coach might actually be playing into a disempowerment cycle for you. 

Are you surrounding yourself with people who love to give their opinions and advice about how you live your life?

When anyone takes away your decision-making by telling you what you should think, what you should be doing, how you should be living your life, they are playing into your disempowerment. They are allowing you to stay a victim because it’s not up to anyone to tell you what’s a good decision, what’s the right decision, what’s the best decision for you. It’s also not up to anyone to dispense their advice and wisdom as if they are above you and all-knowing. 

A partner, family member, friend or coach committed to interdependence is there to guide you and support you in getting clear on your decisions.

Here’s an example: 

We’ve all been there —  the ex reaches out…they want to get back together. They want to come out to dinner with you. Your friends snap into protection mode (which puts you in a disempowered state because the subtext is “you can’t make this decision for yourself.”). They say things like: “Why would you do that? No, no, never, never, don’t do it.” 

In an interdependent relationship based on equal empowerment, the approach would be to support you with getting clear on why would you want to meet up with your ex. They’d get curious with you on what you’re aiming to achieve. Then when you’re clear on your intention and motivation for that choice and you’re clear on the possible outcomes from that decision, you get to decide. It’s your life. 

It’s your path, and it’s your journey and only you can live it. 
Instead of turning outward, look inward. All the answers you need are deep within your intuition and instincts. Follow that lead, not someone else’s. 

So for those of you who are out there giving your power away and taken away by people in your life who seem to think that you don’t have good decision-making power — it’s time to stop looking outside yourself for those answers. I’m here to remind you today that you are on your path. Your choices are always going to be in service to the lessons you are meant to learn.

With this in mind, here’s a little reflection for you: 

On a scale of 0–5, with 0 being “Not at all” and 5 being “More often than not”, how often do you give away your power by looking outside yourself to others for their opinions and advice? 

To go another level deeper, do a similar ranking for your: 

  • Romantic Partner
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Friends (maybe even specific friends) 

Once you’ve taken this inventory you get to decide how you want to adjust your relationships, if at all, accordingly. 

Wish you nothing but love and healthy happy relationships from here on forward. You get to decide. You are the creator and designer of your life.



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